Wednesday, July 1, 2009

an "f" crisis

Since moving back to the states I have been overwhelmed by the media attention, and the anxiety that is the reality of the economy in the United States (and the world). There really is a feeling of constant anxiety here that I'm assuming I am not the only one feeling. The past couple days have been particularly stressful. As I have been thinking about it, journaling about it, and praying about it, I have come to the realization that I am indeed in the middle of a crisis. It's not the financial crisis that I hear so much about, but it is an f-word crisis (no, not that word, silly). It's a faith crisis.

Sometimes it is so easy to trust that God's plan is best, and that he's got it all worked out and has since the beginning of time. Sometimes it seems impossible. Right now, it seems impossible! I feel like I have big decisions to make that affect more than just me, and I don't know the right answer. I feel like the problems I have are too big to have a happy solution. I'm sure many, if not all, of you can relate. But do you know how ridiculous that is? The notion that something is too big for the God of all Creation? I clearly don't actually KNOW how ridiculous it is. I just know.

Why can't I just sit back and trust that he is in control? Why do I make decision making so hard on myself?

Oh, Lord, refine my faith. Make it real, make it true. Remind me that it's not about me. It's all about YOU.

3 comments:

The Johnsons said...

Megan,
I love reading your blog - your are such a "real" person and have been for as long as I have known you. Please let me know how I can be praying for you!
Tammy

The McDonalds said...

Megan,

Please know that your "other" family is praying for you. Also, we are "here" for you even though we are half way around the world. We love you and can't wait to see you.

LeAnne (for all 5)

Shirley said...

Megan, I just read your blog and felt that you put into words what I've been feeling as of late. I turn to Ps. and read "Be still, and know that I am God". Then I wonder, why do I seem to forget that so often. I can't wait to meet you. I,too, along with the McDonalds will be praying for you. And Andy. Blessings to you