Since moving back to the states I have been overwhelmed by the media attention, and the anxiety that is the reality of the economy in the United States (and the world). There really is a feeling of constant anxiety here that I'm assuming I am not the only one feeling. The past couple days have been particularly stressful. As I have been thinking about it, journaling about it, and praying about it, I have come to the realization that I am indeed in the middle of a crisis. It's not the financial crisis that I hear so much about, but it is an f-word crisis (no, not that word, silly). It's a faith crisis.
Sometimes it is so easy to trust that God's plan is best, and that he's got it all worked out and has since the beginning of time. Sometimes it seems impossible. Right now, it seems impossible! I feel like I have big decisions to make that affect more than just me, and I don't know the right answer. I feel like the problems I have are too big to have a happy solution. I'm sure many, if not all, of you can relate. But do you know how ridiculous that is? The notion that something is too big for the God of all Creation? I clearly don't actually KNOW how ridiculous it is. I just know.
Why can't I just sit back and trust that he is in control? Why do I make decision making so hard on myself?
Oh, Lord, refine my faith. Make it real, make it true. Remind me that it's not about me. It's all about YOU.